If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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