i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
