he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
