i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
