I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize