roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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