I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize