how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
