oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
