nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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