so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
