White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize