I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
