They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
