yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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