God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize