let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
