yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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