Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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