I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
