I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
