I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
