Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
