I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
They are going to name an STD after you.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
