im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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