I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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