Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
