He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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