I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My apartment stinks of burning failure
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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