If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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