Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
