Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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