That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
