fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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