My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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