I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
