i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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