I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
