First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize