He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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