The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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