Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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