Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
