You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
