$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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