I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
no you cant smoke seaweed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
