So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All the doctor said was why
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
