But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I fill condoms, not promises.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
