I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
