The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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