the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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