we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
