I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
