I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
PANTIES FOUND
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
