Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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