the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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