its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
