I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
