last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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