Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
