I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my being single is dangerous.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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