So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize