I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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