I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
