a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
