its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
