But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
