You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
