Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
