That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
