How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
