I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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