Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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