If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
