But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
